Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
