I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
