Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
