Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
