Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
