Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
