you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
