just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you didnt know i had herpes?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Shame is for Republicans.
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