I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
soo... how was my night?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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