they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Who wears a wallet chain?!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
