i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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