in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
