Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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