party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
