pedialite and red bull = repair kit
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize