I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize