Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
