why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize