I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
