Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
