i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize