so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
