saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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