walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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