I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
