Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
