I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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