I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
