I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
