I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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