in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Boobs speak an international language.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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