I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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