Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
