Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize