Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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