And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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