Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize