A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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