I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
