I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
