No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
