She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
