I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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