i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
