I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
