either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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