I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
