Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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