If that was your dad, he is hot
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize