did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
