Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
