"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
id be glad to
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
