I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize