He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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