He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
