she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
