I need help removing her.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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