thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Someone came in the potted fern
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
