We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
