Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
