he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
