You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
