Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
